you stole my star

In the past week I’ve learned something about myself that is unsettling.  My trust issues are far worse than I thought.  It will all depend on the type of relationship, but if it’s someone who is trying to get close to me, I automatically have very little faith in them, and assume they have ulterior motives.  I know why…I’ve been lied to plenty of times in the past, I just didn’t think it had as much of an affect on me as it did.

I also realized how much I despise politics.  It was never something I was that interested in before…but I always did my part and voted.  I’m a non-partisan voter…I don’t side with only democrat or republican…but I tend to lean more toward republican just because that’s what my parents are.  Melissa was starting to talk politics a little bit the other morning and I automatically got tense and angry.  Not at her, not at what she was saying…I got angry at a memory.  I’ve been yelled at and called evil just because I don’t blindly vote democrat.  When I vote, I look at the people as individuals and what they stand for on their own…I don’t look at them as an elephant or a donkey.  There are extremists on both sides, and I don’t believe either party has it all right or will get it all right…that’s why I choose to not be classified as either.  But because of that memory, politics is off limits with me…I won’t discuss it with anyone.

I was reminded about my job back at home the other day as well.  I got really depressed working there, and I can feel that starting to creep back up as the time to go back is nearing.  I worked there for 7 years and it’s taken it’s toll on me and I can’t be there for much longer once I’m home…I have to make sure I don’t get stuck again.

This post isn’t supposed to be so negative….in Bangladeshi news…work is going pretty slowly.  I have samples that are being sewn right now but every time I go to check on them and try to see when they will be done…no one can tell me and they always point me to someone else.  I’m working on my final samples that I’m going to be bringing home with me.  I’m also making one last print, for pocketing.  It’s little birds…supah cute.  I’ll get that sent off later today, I think…so should see that done next week.

The weather has started to cool down…I’ve actually felt a bit chilly at nights here.  Someone told us that people here die from this cold.  It’s still not cold…there is a difference between cold and chilly…but for people who live in villages and are either very young or very old…I suppose it’s possible.  On the way to work we see men wearing scarves, jackets, sweaters…etc….while we are still in our t-shirts!  I will probably go into shock when I feel cold for the first time again in the States.

Thanksgiving is tomorrow!  We are trying to find out if the American club is doing anything for it/if someone can get us in…other than that, the plan is probably to eat noodles (the cook is making me 3 days worth of noodles/meat).

Here is a random picture from the car the other day.




One thought on “you stole my star

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